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Animeleague Club London - Sat 14th November! All Day - £5 [September 16th, 2009 01:19 am]

Running at between 200 and 400 people, ALCL is London's little anime convention. It's just £5 for all day from midday to midnight. We have dealers, video gaming, anime screening, an Artist Alley, DDRing, roleplaying, card-gaming, along with many events such as a masquerade, pub-quiz, parties, special guests (Roppongi Street and MasakoX of DBZ/Naruto Abridged are announced with more to come!) and much more!

Date: November 14th
Venue: The Slug and Lettuce, 1 America Square, London, EC3N 2LS
Tube: Five minutes from Tower Gateway & Tower Hill tube stations

It costs £5 to get in, and you need to be 18 years or older. Accommodation is available at just £17.50 a night.

You can read all about ALCL on it's official website at http://www.animeleague.com/london/ . A load of new announcements will be added once Alcon is done in September.

We're accepting to all anime fans, from ALers to non-ALers, to casual fans to otaku!

Check out ALCL at http://www.animeleague.com/london/registration.php
Signup for accommodation and chat about ALCL here: http://www.animeleague.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=92602
Check out the Animeleague forums at http://www.animeleague.net/forums
ALCL is also on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=127960793948

ALCL will take place every 3-4 months (three times a year). The intention is to enable London to have a proper anime club again, following the sad demise of LAC last year.


Video Gaming - We will be running tournaments throughout the day! We will also have a variety of up to date games, as well as retro-gaming, DDRing, Guitar Hero and much more!
Artists Alley - We will have a mini-artists alley for artists to chill out with a drink or three.
Anime Screenings - We will be showing anime screenings throughout the day. Titles showing shall be confirmed! Dealers - We shall be announcing what dealers will be attending over the next few months. There will be a range of anime-related products to check out and buy.
Roleplaying/Card Gaming - Want to do some card gaming or roleplaying? We'll be doing this as well! Bring along your cards and play away!


Pub Quiz
Cosplay Masquerade
DDR Tournament
Dub That Anime
Drunken Artist
Guitar Hero Tournament
Mario Kart Tournament
AMV Evening (And Contest)
The Club London Party!


MasakoX - Creator of the hilarious Naruto Abridged and a major part of DBZ Abridged! Abridged series take an anime, edit it, and redub it to produce something very funny. If you're interested in becoming a voice-artist, then check this out!

Roppongi Street - Europe's #1 ParaPara club night specialists. ParaPara is a Japanese club dance. Each song has a separate routine to it, these routines are usually learnt from videos that you can buy and also in clubs in Japan from watching other people who know the routines already.

UK Otaku - Following the success of the live show at ALcon 2009 UKotaku will be back at ALCL presenting more multi-media mayhem. UKotaku will bring you music, video and of course oodles of anime with the usual lashings of general geekery listeners of our podcast have come to expect.


If London is to have a successful anime club, then we need people willing to help promote, network this event! If you're interested in becoming a member of ALCL staff, then check out this topic http://www.animeleague.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=92734 and signup!

9<img align="middle" . . .

The New Poster Boy for AL-infamity makes himself known. [August 29th, 2006 09:46 pm]
It was never enough that the former ClanNation mod, Mobius should go and delete the entire ClanNation forum after getting pissed off at his fellow staff members (Coincidently enough he did it some five hours after Delve refused to make him a signature). Clearly not happy enough at this attempt to destroy the work of 100s of other people, he has now made a site for his wonderful little rants - the first being squarely against animeleague.

That's right, guys! No longer do you have to hear the rantings of that old character Mobius through being passed AIM logs of the crap he sprouts - now you can go straight to the source!


Mobius Rant - Why I hate you so much..

Most of it is the stereotypical bitter nonsense that amounts to simple opinions, rather than accounts or proof. However, I figured I should post a few of the accounts he did write, and fill in the gaps between his fantasy and what is actually reality.

Did I forget to mention how indecisive they are? One of the morons(moderator) had the nerve to report to a head moderator about a topic some member made as titled:

"You're all noobs! Give me your credits!"

After a little rant about how moronic the staff are (alongside the BlackMage love-in), he concludes with the revelation that the topic was locked. Well, what do you expect? People who replied to the topic took it wrongly, others replied baiting them (if I recall correctly), and the topic was locked before it got worse. The entire thread was an open invitation for baiting to occur in it's tone in the ACTUAL post.

A topic title does not make it's original post or it's replies.

Never mind the fact he condones this, but launches a campaign on 'removing the cynicism that is in AL from the newer people."

Actually, the clan of Anglo-Revolution is firstly not a campaign. Secondly, it's intention is to improve the atmosphere amongst the members and encourage less cynicism across everyone, not newer members alone. Holmes needs to do his homework, he's just making himself look like an uninformed fool.

Well, I say that every time I search their forum and look through their unorganized thread placement.

Notice an opinion here, but nothing to substantiate it. Reason? Well, he can't. The threads are organised perfectly fine. He does this quite a lot in this rather pathetic rant.

The system itself isn't even elaborated on. The judges JUDGE you based off of their personal belief. There is no score system, nothing to determine why, when, and where. They round you off with a number, and 'style,' is apparently a legitimate category. This is all based on the assumption that they are 'qualified,' to review someone else's work.

Actually, there is a score system, and it's largely assessed by Matt Nada. I am sure he'd be more than happy to show him the system he uses and explain how it all works in depth - he might even learn something (perish the thought, supreme sparrer)! ^_^

As an aside, I found this a rather amusing mistake. I wonder if it's a deliberate error to convey some feeble attempt at irony - somehow I doubt it. Being the nice guy I am, I've gone and fixed his mistake.

and to actually believe some of these literate illiterate twats get ranked 8 is a mystery to me.

Back on track -

Seriously. There is nothing else to do but do these 'schemes,' to keep your clan alive.

Ah yes, his rant about schemes being used in clans, along with activity checks and so forth. Well, last time I checked schemes were not the only thing for clans to do. In fact, a clan can opt NOT to do a scheme at all. A clan picks to do -

One of: Organisation or Guild activities (Schemes and RPing respectively).
One of: Tournament or Sponsoring activities.

There is a group called 'Anime league empire,' inside of Clan Nation. The sole purpose of this group is to have old members that are well known among themselves come in Clan Nation, and lord their seniority over you. You have to be 'cool,' enough to be in this group. This is a load of hypocrisy on so many levels, and it isn't beside the fact they contribute nothing productive with a 'scheme,' like that.

Gee, he's a bit out of it. Animeleague Empire was removed over a month ago now. And no, it was never a good idea in the first place, and we are working on deterring these kind of clans being formed. Unfortunately, it will take time to ensure that more useful clans are made over these ones that are, to put it nicely, fads and jokes at best.

Then we come to cover Animeleague rewards. Let's not forget that Freesayian, the administrator, is rewarded almost every reward in Animeleague. Effectively showing how bias this site is, and how self-adsorb Freesayian is. This is as bad as him getting rated a 10 in Role player's Realm. Remove the cynicism? You remove the hypocrisy.

Really? Hmmm, last time I checked I was given a level 9 in Roleplayer's Realm, as it happens, not a 10. I guess you counted on no one answering your ridicolous distortions of the facts.

As for awards? Well, last AL Awards I won (which aren't even that important, they are intended as a bit of fun, not something to be so jealous over) -

Most Famous (Makes sense given I am the owner and just everyone has heard of me)
Most Dedicated (I'm on all day - if you wanna accuse me of not having much of a life, you have me there!)
Most Perverted (I didn't even want this one, but thanks O.o This isn't really much of an award, more neutral, has good and bad to it)
Most Valuable Forum Member (Nice to win, but let's face it, if I left it'd hurt AL more than anyone else leaving - not being egotistical, but I do put a LOT into this place)

That's four awards out of some 35 awards. Seems quite justified to me. I think Mobius is just jealous that I own a major message board, and he's well... banned from one and is even now losing what's left of his reputation. He lost his mind, fucked up, and is now trying to justify why he did it, when it was all his own fucking fault.

Never mind the fact that I proudly deleted all of Clan Nation's topics and Archive because of poor supervisor management(my bosses suck), but my rules for the sub-forum was accepted until a few trolling members caused a mess

It must have hurt him to have known that I back the boards up every day. Restoring the topics he deleted was done within the hour. A lot of CNers didn't even know he did it. It was beautiful - he showed us his true colours, and we lost precisely nothing at the end of the day.

Poor supervisor management? Short of going to his house and breaking his hands, there was little we could have done to stop him going fucking insane over his fellow mod not making a signature for him.

Ironically enough, my rules are still in effect. However, they had some dumb Mobius-wannabe(Delve) try to come with a different draft. This effectively made a reworded version of the very rules and concepts I came up with. You know, why not just accept that fact that I make a better moderator and keep me on the job. Instead of playing grab-ass and finding little ways of getting rid of me, because I did nothing 'constructive.' Well, ain't that a bitch because I see MY rules being used NOW.

I hate Animeleague.

<3 I enjoy this part the most. You can actually visualise the sheer bitterness dripping in every word of that paragraph. Man, this guy needs to attend some anger-management classes or something. I feel sorry for his gf who has to listen to this shit.

The most amusing aspect is this from the main page:

I would also love to give credit to Maddox, who's work inspired me to do this. Am I ripping his idea off? Yes. However, my circumstance is that I don't feel like venting my RAGE on my girlfriend. So, she is going to read it instead of hearing it come from my mouth.

1. If I were Maddox I'd want to fly an aeroplane into his house right about now just to shut him up.
2. HIS RAGE? RAGE? RAGGGEEE!!! We have an Incredible Hulk wannabe!
3. Cos your girlfriend will MUCH prefer you going around AIMing major members of animeleague with links to your rant. It looks SO much better on her that way. God. You're a fucking moron. Haven't you done enough to try and sabotage her position on staff simply by association with you already?

Take him away in the straitjacket, folks. He's gone.

24<img align="middle" . . .

The Member Hub Theory. [August 26th, 2006 02:47 am]
The Member Hub Theory.

How a community works and how it's members are organised into social groupings can often seem quite random and unpredictable. Member hub theory attempts to at least partially explain how communities rise, stabilise and ultimately die in terms of activity and numbers.

What is a member hub?

A hub is a name for a group of members who know one another that are drawn together. They might be drawn together for various reasons, such as friendship, a common cause, common beliefs, or common activities.

How important are hubs to forums?

Successful and vibrant member hubs are fundamental to successful forums. Without at least ONE member hub, a forum will always die.

This is fundamental. There must be at least a group to hold a forum together. Usually, if a forum only has one member hub, then this hub will be based around it's leader, with the forum leader occupying the appex of the hub. Without a hub, new members will have nothing to stick onto - there will be no community spirit, or no feel that they are joining a crowd to entice them.

Leaders of hubs?

Hubs will naturally tend toward at least unofficially determining a leader or a set of leaders to set direction. These dominant members will set the agenda for the morals, directions, fashions and beliefs of the hub, while the others will tend to follow.

How does a hub change?

Over time, a hub can change.

1. It can grow, or it can shrink. This entirely depends on the nature of the hub. A hub will vary between being 'open' and 'closed'. A totally closed hub is very inward looking, and adopts a very negative approach to any newcomers - at best ignoring, at worst mocking or ridiculing either publically or in private. An totally open hub, on the other hand, will blindly go for allowing in as many new members to it's crowd as possible, regardless of the quality of members wishing to join it. Generally, for a hub to be successful, it needs to adopt mainly an open attitude. A closed attitude will inevitably kill the hub off over time.
2. Changes of leaders. This actually changes the nature of the hub less than you would expect (see below). If leaders of a hub leave or vanish, then like-minded leaders will usually be promoted.
3. Changes of attitudes and atmosphere. This will only happen in extremely rare situations. It is nigh on impossible to change the nature of a single member hub. Only an uncontrolled influx of new members to a hub, or a desperate want to change the hub to ensure it survives will result in any change.
4. Hub Shattering. The most dramatic form of hub change. When a hub shatters, this is usually due to arguments and fighting. From a more abstract point of view, a hub shattering can also be seen as a hub dividing into two - with each piece becoming a new hub in it's own right. Hub shattering can also be brought on if a hub becomes too large.

Multiple Member Hubs.

A single hub in a forum will ultimately become harder and harder to maintain as the forum grows. The hub leaders will grow more and more remote from the other hub members, and the hub members from one another - since it is very hard for members to keep in touch with one another where there are a lot. Ultimately this will encourage a hub shattering event (see above).

Animeleague experienced a major hub shattering in 2002. Until this date energy was placed into trying to keep the boards as one hub. Ultimately a change of policy resulted in multiple hubs being encouraged.

Nowadays, Animeleague has in excess of 30 hubs. A lot of hubs are largely based around a section of AL. However, ClanNation, for example, easily has about a dozen hubs to it. Some sections also have more than one hub operating.

Multiple hubs does mean that a single hub dying won't hurt the boards as much. Indeed, if a failing hub dies, then very soon another hub will inevitably form to replace it. In a forum as large as animeleague, any voids opened up in hubs are filled very quickly. An example of a dying hub being replaced was where Crazy League's main hub died, to effectively be replaced by the Anglo-Revolution hub.

Also, the threat of the hub being replaced can be a strong motivation for the hub to change in it's nature. Examples of this include when #animeleague lost a lot of members in 2005. The hub broke down, and a lot of newer members were brought in. This was an example of a dying hub being forced to open itself to new members.

Interestingly enough, this can be seen as a forum re-allignment mechanism. IF a section gets very away from the others in terms in it's attitudes, then it will HAVE to open itself up, and change it's own attitudes to better attract newer members and outsiders. This means that no section of animeleague can be too different from the whole for too long, otherwise it will inevitably close itself off to new ALers. UNLESS, they can draw upon non-ALers (or ALers who aren't active) to help feed their hub.


1. No members (even hub leaders) are critical to a single open hub since they will always get replaced by like minded individuals. UNLESS the hub is small, or struggling to bring in new members, in which case it'll hurt more. Thusly every member is critical to a closed hub.
2. All hubs will stay rooted to AL provided they rely solely on AL members to feed them.
3. Communities move in cycles. In the medium term, we will see ups and downs as older popular members depart, the community shifts, and newer ones eventually take their place. Hubs will switch between being open and closed in accordance to how many members they need to sustain themselves.
4. Animeleague will remain of roughly the same size in a stagnant state unless a way can be found to either - make the hubs open themselves more, or to fit in more hubs.

2<img align="middle" . . .

I am... The Assasinator! [July 22nd, 2006 12:04 am]
Ah, yes... The Crazy League Assassins are going well. An idea of long ago, reused to sparkling effect:


Ta Da!

. . .

Hackers. Fucking Hackers. [July 14th, 2006 12:35 am]
Well, just upgraded the board security to help deal with any future hacking incidences. For those who were not aware, we had a hacker at about midday GMT (or earlier) who decided to delete myself, Zhabroah, omg.ninja, Moomba and a few others, from what I can tell. Thankfully, since I make a backup every 24 hours, this was quickly undone. It's very hard to do any significant damage to AL even if you get into it.

Whether it was a hacker or a disgruntled staff member who is taking the piss remains to be seen. As such, I have restricted admin panel access, and prevented topics from being deleted (instead get moved to a hidden forum now). This ought to be sufficient to ensure that if we get hacked again, no major damage can be done.

Moomba was saying it might have been someone she knew that did it. Dunno about that, guess we'll see. That's the only serious lead I have so far. What I am fairly sure of is that this incident isn't related to the hacking incident we had the other week. How it was done was completely different.

Upgrading phpbb was suggested, but unfortunately this isn't really an option. Long-term, yes, but to do it would take a week or two of time to get all the NECESSARY hacks and themes reinstalled from the vanillia install (plus edit the database so that it actually fits). I don't really have that time right now (contrary to popular belief I am not an automated slave to AL). These extra security measures OUGHT to help, and hopefully we won't have too many more problems. I was hoping to do an upgrade when phpbb 3 came out (2.2). With luck we can hold off for that (probably six months away now - it's still very much in beta) if these incidences cease.

I was going to be going to my father's this weekend, but it looks like I'll have to cancel it now. Instead, I'll be attending a little meet-up in Birmingham this Saturday between ALers. Should be entertaining.

Oh yeah, and my To Do List.

CL Book of Seven <--- Update Friday
CN activity and members (1+2) <--- Friday + Sort out Empire
Sparring Tournament <--- Friday
Sort out AR <--- Friday
New CL mods <--- NEXT Wednesday
Scheme Assessments <--- NEXT Wednesday
AL Awards <--- 10th August
Debate Contest in CN <--- 15th July
CL Olympics <--- 31st July

As to what this arcane code means, I'll leave you all to guess. ;)

4<img align="middle" . . .

A Revolution is sweeping through animeleague.. [June 27th, 2006 07:17 am]
Awesome, my clan, Anglo Revolution has just hit SEVENTY members.

I'll quote what we're about:

We are the Anglo Revolution. We are composed mainly of Brits, though we will allow members of any nationality to potentially join, as long as they share the same values as we have. The values behind the Anglo Revolution are:

1. Strong nationalities. There are four main nationalities on animeleague, and each should be strong and healthy. Obviously we focus mainly on the Brits, but we'd give assistance to say the Australians if they were seriously struggling to have many active members from their country.
2. Respect for the members, boards & rules. We strongly believe in upholding animeleague's values and principles. We believe in a universal respect for everyone, and a basic equality for all. At the same time we will fight against those who wish to flame, insult or deride anyone else.
3. We fight for the underdogs. We are the anti-bullies of these boards. We'll stand up to those who are being bullied, harrassed or those who try to push others out of this community.
4. We are positive and look to the future. We are not negative, nor do we look to the past. We try to avoid excessive cynicism, and we try to contribute. We prefer to avoid fighting, but we are not afraid to do it in order to uphold our values.
5. Never give up - Never surrender. We are resilent and we will stand our ground, even if the going gets tough.
6. Loyalty. We are all together as one. Respect one another, remain loyal to your comrades. They are your brothers and sisters. Don't speak behind their backs, don't plot against them, or any of this ilk.

The British contingent on animeleague is staging a genuine and possibly sustained recovery now. But it's not just about reviving Brits on AL. All of these Brits in this clan are taught the values that AL should stand for, and how best to get on and contribute.

This is what I call a 'bottom-up' approach for fixing a problem with AL. The atmosphere of animeleague can not be improved by enforcing rules from the top (top-down). Only by changing the community by changing it fundmantally from the bottom can this be achieved. This is about teaching a whole new generation about values, and in doing so, they help spread it across the entire boards.

It's a long term project, but it is one that'll ultimately pay off hugely for AL at the end of the day. Plus, it's fun running a clan, and the people in it are good friends.

5<img align="middle" . . .

It's that time of the year. [June 24th, 2006 06:41 pm]
It's that time of the year on animeleague where people start to re-evaluate their time committments and their lifes. They look at the boards and realise that maybe they're spending too much time on them, and dedide to quit staff. Comes with the end of school, work or whatever.

Anyway, don't worry this doesn't include me. HOWEVER, six or seven staff members have resigned in the last two weeks. It's just getting stupid now. Thus I am going to have to spend most of today sorting this out properly, and chucking a bunch of new folk on.


7<img align="middle" . . .

Animeleague Community Commentary. [June 19th, 2006 06:52 pm]
In the past this journal has been used as a ground for the usual chat about my life. However, after a few years of this, I've decided that I don't really like discussing much about my life to the general online community. Usually because:

1. It's embarrassing. You see most of the lj-drama that goes on cos people start talking about their lifes?
2. I'm not too great at talking about myself. Thus, you don't really get a 'rivetting' read.

So, I'm plotting a new course for this journal! In the future I'll be using it to provide commentary on the animeleague community, give information about my general work on animeleague and to give opinions and thoughts on it. I think this will prove of interest to ALers.

So, first off, I figured I'd provide everyone with a copy of my current TO DO list for the site.

1. Website. A new front page for animeleague is being created by Kurisu. Should look more professional than the current very generic portal, and should retain all of the current features of the portal as well.
2. Hmod To DO Lists. I have a nice schedule to manage staff now. On the 1st of every month I PM every staff member asking them to fill in a short report form within 7 days. On the 8th of every month, with all report forms back, I put up a fresh topic in staff discussion asking for opinions on forum and staff changes (alongside a detailed report that I compile on all the sections and staff members). And then on the 13th or 14th, after 4 or 5 days of discussion here, I compile each hmod a TO DO list for that month. I PM them it, they tell me if any extra TO DOs need adding, or if any of them need removing, and that is essentially an agreement of what they'll be doing. Another five or six days, and I PM them again, to chase up on what they've done. <--- I am currently on the Chasing up Phase.
3. Blog Commentary. W00t! That'd be this journal.
4. Radio Show Details - Acquire + Advertising Oh, I can't announce this yet, but let's just say that a well known member of animeleague is due to go on a very popular net radio station at the start of next month (with a listening audience of thousands). This is undoubtedly a huge publicity coup for us, and I shall be releasing details in Community Central when I get them fully.
5. Email out about CN RP forum + Mascot. As it sounds really. ClanNation is getting a brand new Roleplaying area. I think this could potentially work out VERY well.
6. IMing Lists I either manage or help to manage six schemes on animeleague. IMing old/new members is one of them. I desperately need to sort out the lists everyone has, and make sure they're all on top of things.
7. Scout new welcomes assistants. I blame making the welcomes assistant scheme actually contain some work to it. Now we have only FIVE welcomes assistants, where the scheme operates best with ten.
8. Sort out A&M This section is getting a bit too strict, so I wanna see about sorting it.
9. Sort out ART Animeleague Research Team. This should be the engine for making new schemes on animeleague, and improving existing ones. This is not so. Thus, I am going to work on revamping it shortly.
10. Staff Guidebook - Add more and finish off I am writing a staff guidebook! Yeah, odd to think that for four years AL hasn't really had an official staff guidebook. Hopefully this should cull a lot of confusion and help new mods out a great deal.

Lots of stuff is currently happening on animeleague right now. The birth of the new site should be a MAJOR step forward. Hopefully with something more professional looking we'll be able to attract contacts, affiliates and partners of some worth (if I get another PM from someone with a 50 member forum, asking to affiliate with us, I shall kill).

15<img align="middle" . . .

Thoughts on the state of online freeform roleplaying sparring. [December 19th, 2004 08:09 am]
FreeSaiyan: To me, I think it's better to build the more valid and workable code and explain it properly.
FreeSaiyan: Rather than making them figure it out as they go along.
RdMgcn: But you can't build the code for them.
RdMgcn: You tell them how to make the code itself, but can't teach them how to build it and make it work the way you want it to.
FreeSaiyan: I believe that the code can be more tightly defined without sacrificing very much freedom of choice.
FreeSaiyan: Minor losses counterbalanced by huge benefits of newcomers being better informed, and a deeper consensus allowing greater common understanding.
FreeSaiyan: To me the current state of sparring is like a game of chess where all the pieces do not even have how they can move very well defined.
RdMgcn: Boss...
RdMgcn: What I'm seeing is this:
RdMgcn: You're trying to set up a system where you will produce lots and lots of decent widgets. However, I've always seen the point of having a system to be producing the best widgets there are, no matter if most of the other widgets you produce are crap.
RdMgcn: The good widgets sell for enough to more than cover the losses of the bad ones.
FreeSaiyan: I'm trying to produce a system that will work for more than the elite and to save those who wish to learn having to find out themselves through a very long time.
RdMgcn: -nods, shrugging- I know... I'm just never comfortable when things could be better. It's one of my serious problems. OCD.
FreeSaiyan: It depends how you define better. Definition of better changes from person to person. Would a blank page be the ultimate piece of literature, since it's not restricted by the words set upon it?
RdMgcn: -chuckles- Very possibly.

. . .

Shin. Fuck you. [September 4th, 2004 06:05 am]
Shinmeko> Would this be a bad time to tell you guys that I was the one that got into the admin accounts and changed stuff and banned people?
Nimrod> Shinmeko: Great time, lol. U rawk
FreeSaiyan> I hope you're joking.
Syzygy> Can we have a normal conversation?
FreeSaiyan> Or I will have to ban you now.
Shinmeko> Ban me. :) I'm utterly not kidding.
* Shinmeko waves her hands up in the air.
RanmaGuy> im going to go and make some coffee because it is my job to
FreeSaiyan> ~_~ What?
Syzygy> This is an interesting turn of events
RanmaGuy> but hey, no DPZ as admin, that's a plus
Kickserv> HAHAHA.
Kickserv> This day is like.
RanmaGuy> does Shinmeko even go on AL?
Kickserv> AL:DRAMA Day.
FaerieFortune> Used to
Nimrod> RanmaGuy: only because she threatened AL
FreeSaiyan> I don't believe you.
Shinmeko> No, not really any more.
Nimrod> otherwise she'd have never been demodded.
Shinmeko> You don't believe me? I can tell you what your pass used to be.
Kickserv> Offically.
FreeSaiyan> Oh?
Shinmeko> And how I used it to kick into the admin control panel.
FreeSaiyan> And what did it used to be?
Shinmeko> Fuzzy.
Kickserv> :o
Syzygy> Fuzzy?
RanmaGuy> uh
Shinmeko> I used it to ban Bee.

Fuck you, you conceited bitch, fuck you.

Feel free to express to Shin in her livejournal if you dislike the chaos she caused a few weeks ago. This entry on the other hand gets locked, since I wish to deny her the chance to give one of her ever so witty and cutting replies.

Dreaming of a better world. [April 3rd, 2004 01:30 am]
Dreaming of a better world.

He's brought into the world,
Innocent to the strife,
So simple and naive,
He's grateful for a life.

Anger, love, emotions,
He threw them all away,
What's the point of feelings,
If they hurt him everyday?

He's cut, but not axed,
He's dying, but not dead,
So alone he must endure,
This coldness within his head.

Awake and yet asleep,
He's awash with frozen blood,
His heart is long since emptied,
His soul's reduced to mud.

Anger, love, emotions,
He threw them all away,
What's the point of feelings,
If they hurt him everyday?

He's cut, but not axed,
He's dying, but not dead,
So alone he must endure,
These shadows in his head.

Inside a mind so broken,
Scortching fire within so cold,
Clinging onto his spirit, yet,
Becoming a wraith within the fold.

Anger, love, emotions,
He threw them all away,
What's the point of feelings,
If they hurt him everyday?

He's down, but not out,
He's going but not gone,
Remaining to exist,
He intends to carry on,

For he stays here, out of hope,
That one thing he can hold,
Dreams within so precious,
Left lighting up our world.

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Scattered [February 13th, 2004 11:02 am]
A scattered memory lost within the confines of the past,
The essence of a soul hidden away from the gaze of the shadow from the scorching sun,
The depths of the mind trapped within layers of pain intricately woven together,
A cold melody sweeping through the corn fields, and playing out a symphony,
The incandescent music holding expression rigid,
And suffocating the person, hiding the inner beauty and resonance from the world,
To be replaced by a cool emotionless lull, some are fooled,
Others are not.

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Friends list update [February 11th, 2004 03:50 am]
Ahh, now that I have removed those folk that appear to enjoy updating in excess of half a dozen times a day, my friends view seems so much more pertinant and useful.

^_^ I don't want to hear an update on people's lifes every hour. Once or at the very most TWICE a day is quite enough thankyou.

I would discuss about my life at this point, but I'd rather not. I learned of something distressing and upsetting earlier on today, but I'm alright now. That's all I'll say.

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Final Roll [January 13th, 2004 07:20 am]
The final roll of the dice,
A throw, a spin, a decision,
To place it all into chance,
A folly? worthy of derision?

Six, five, four, three, two, one,
One, two, three, four, five, six,
The numbers lay there on the table,
And yet don't add up...
Is this life...
Or is this madness?

So I ramble on,
As I sit, composing this melody,
Dices spin, cards are played,
Affecting whole lifes, you, of them, of me.

Six, five, four, three, two, one,
One, two, three, four, five, six,
Care to break the odds?
Care to cheat?
To turn the losing hand into gold,
At the expense of it all?

The day of judgement draws nigh,
And so we come to the final roll,
Everything is placed on this,
The heart, the mind, the soul.

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[December 25th, 2003 06:52 pm]
Last night was not very nice. Had a bunch of bad dreams, which were somehow worse than usual. They were more psychological than scarey... Very rarely get scared, if ever in my dreams.

One of the dreams that I can particularly remember was about AL and someone on it. We were having an arguement of sorts. The guy was ripping the piss out of me in front of other people (we were at a train station oddly enough... perhaps relating to the AL:UK convention and where we met up). Once he was done, he tallied somewhere how many times I'd been humiliated and found it very funny. What followed was an arguement whereby I said he was simply showing how sad and immature he was in doing this. However no one listened to me, and blindly backed his side, saying it was just for a laugh, and that I should get over myself and get a life.

Then they all walked off and left me there alone. I sighed, bowed my head and huddled into a corner as I watched them go.

Heh, one way or another, my dreams always seem to find a way to hit a raw spot inside of me. Whether it's about exams, the fear of total failure, having no friends, being picked upon, or pumelled to a pulp on the floor as everyone laughs... my dreams just suck.

*sigh* I woke up feeling utterly depressed at about 10:30pm. I could hear my little brother (whose 8) getting very excited since it was Christmas day. I thought to myself 'what IS the point?', and went back to sleep.

I eventually woke up just before midday for my little brother's sake, since he was getting upset that I wasn't up. After about an hour, my mother probably noticing I looked incredibly depressed, said that I could go back to bed if I wanted, before the dinner was ready. So I did. Woke up again at about 3pm or so and went to have dinner.

Now it's 6:30pm as I write this. I have been online for perhaps an hour or so today... Majority of it was spent arguing in the AL Awards over something totally stupid. I hate it how when I win Most Valuable Poster, an award which I really am proud to have, even when I have that *small* moment to feel good about myself, people don't so much as congratulate me, but crowd around and rip the piss out of me some more reducing it all to nothing.

Then again, that's all it is at the end of the day. That's all I am really too. Nothing. Just a ghost in the system that keeps it all ticking along. I have few friends... I look at people on AL all so happy with who they've bonded with, but I just push them all away either actively or just by being who I am. I guess it's easier that way for myself. It's all so much easier when you view from a distance. Am I a coward? Probably. Can you blame me, when whoever I get close to, I expect for them to either drift from me through disinterest, or stab me in the back through hatred?

I guess it'd have been nice to have sent cards and presents to other ALers and received them in return... It'd have been very nice to have got at least one card from someone on AL through the post. But heh, wouldn't be me would it?

Don't worry about me, those of you that do. I'll survive. Always have done, always will.

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~_~ [December 12th, 2003 11:34 pm]
How the fuck am I supposed to manage AL with these problems occuring left right and center?

At least the guy is moving me over to a new machine later on tonight which won't crash every 10 hours. But bloody hell... this is just plain stressful.

Oh, and on another note, way to go livejournal for getting rid of invite codes. Finally the site is growing up, throwing it's elitism out of the window and becoming more accepting. I don't see anything bad with this whatsoever, other than selfish invididuals whom felt that in having a journal that was hard to obtain that gave them something over other people who did not. Also those that claim it's going to degrade quality through a rush of newbies again clearly do not understand that lj already has a huge range of people... invite codes don't magically improve the quality of people joining after all. That's just a mooronic way of thinking to me. Also there is this thing known as a 'friends list'.

People overreacting is hilarous. Way to go Dave. ^_^

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[December 1st, 2003 06:11 pm]
You are Wintergreen.
You are cool and collected. You are very
comfortable with yourself and what you do.
Even if you have a lot of responsiblities, you
always manage to be in control. You are
sometimes laid-back and you are always the
voice of reason. However, others may see you
as lazy or detached sometimes, unable to act
Most Compatible With: Lime

Which Tic-Tac Flavor Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Meh [December 1st, 2003 01:33 pm]
For fuck's sake. ~_~ Speaking with certain people is like banging a proverbial head against a brick wall at times.

ANOTHER problem occurs just as I thought things were resolved. Thanks, thanks a lot.

Sometimes I swear I exist just to hurt. Fucking dumb...

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Back up [December 1st, 2003 11:59 am]
It's been put back up thankfully now.

The server is being upgraded next week. This should not occur again, and I have spoken to the woaftech admin (Noodle aka Chris) at length over this. It was removed due to the resources it was taking up... which was too much for the system to cope with (damn site growing).

Also seems he was not informed by Jon that I had firstly increased my payment by about 17$ a month equivalent (or 11 extra quid) and secondly had offered to help with footing the cost of upgrading the server.

*cough* Whoops?

Anyway, this issue should be resolved and hopefully won't happen again. Ever.

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Notice [December 1st, 2003 04:48 am]
The forums are down until tommorow morning (GMT) when a woaftech admin is not asleep. It will be back up, rest assured. Suspended means suspended. If there was any intention to make it permanent then it'd not say suspended. Most likely there was a serious server problem that meant the forums had to be temporarily taken off to free up resources or something like that (random guess). As the message says, go get some sleep or something. Thankyou. I shall be looking into ensuring that this problem does not happen again either by upgrading my hosting or changing my hosting altogether.

PS: If you had a clan challenge or whatnot to hand in, there's a days extension.

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